I can't even believe in myself anymore. I've lost the desire to create and bring laughter to others. I can't bring myself to want anything, to hope or...even love.I don't deserve love anyway, not even love for myself. I did a horrible thing to someone else and deserve to suffer for it. Coincidentally, I've found a perfect way to do that. Sexual humiliation has become something I am rather good at taking and being used has taken over any of my previous sexual preferences.Finding the men is easy. Tommy’s eyebrows went up that an adult would actually need his help.“I’ll do anything for you Ruthie, you know that. Only you know I’m not very good at most things.”Ruth smiled because Tommy loved to use nicknames. If a person didn’t have a nickname, he’d worry with it until he came up with one for them. Ruthie was the moniker he’d hung on her. Had it been any other man calling her that, she’d have gone ballistic.“I think you’ll be perfect for what I have in mind. See, I have a couple of. More

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