Can an internal misstatement of motive — a lie to myself — be, on some level, aspirational? Understandable?Out there somewhere is someone I would ...ike to be ... intend to be. Yet, I can’t pretend to be outside of my own moral concerns. Can’t ignore the salience of my own behavior. The lawlessness.On the other hand, I can’t live my life like I’m in a ... an austere Presbyterian church. Hard pews and upright angles. I can’t listen only to the sermon with Protestant rectitude in a room with clean. I told her I would like to hit that again the next time she is alone and she promised I could. That night I went to a party across town with a few buds. There were alot of girls there but I focused in on this girls mother and her mothers sister inlaw. They had had a few drinks and I figered them to be an easy catch with the right net and boy was I right. I lured those two to the back bedroom and locked the door. I have some experience pulling doubles, so this would be easy for me. Within. More

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