That's my name for you, Courtesan. I love you. No matter how frustrated or angry I get, I will never hurt you. I won't take my anger out on you. Think...what that would make me. I'd just be an abuser. Please help me never become that. But what you are offering me is a treasure beyond anything I could imagine. To offer to hold me when I'm crying? Courtesan, thank you. To listen to me when I need to talk? Courtesan, thank you. To love me when I am weak? Courtesan, thank you. I love you, Courtesan.". ..That made me stop and I stood there with the towel in my hands while Tori was getting out her Lady Bic shaver and some shaving cream. If I wasn't going out with Dan, if Tori and Sonja and Petra didn't think I was gay ... What then? I'd be just another boy, wouldn't I? Just plain old Ashley again, the one they'd never noticed before in their lives. Things would go back to normal and that was what I wanted, wasn't it? Yeah, but not completely normal. Not the normal where I had to lay in bed and. More

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