She feels the same, smells the same and looks the same as four years ago. But where could I go? I had no prospects and a reputation to mend.Ed must ha...e warned Jen not to pry about my life. The conversation at dinner was guarded. I praised Jen on the meal, avoiding remarks of a personal nature. Ed informed me that Jen kept the company books. "We've converted the guest room into a home office. That's why we had to give you our old room," he explained. I politely told them the old room would. Something was wrong. I'd just had sex with a beautiful woman. Great sex, too. But as good as it felt, it had been so weirdly unsatisfying.I thought about the first time we were together. Her pleading. Her tears. Her pain.I felt a hollow pit in my stomach as I thought about what was missing. It was so obvious.I'd somehow convinced myself that all the stuff I'd been doing to her; the hair pulling, and lip-biting, the insults and commands, that it was all for her. To hurther. To make her suffer.I. More

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