It started when I was fourteen. The family was going to Hawaii the week after Thanksgiving for a two-week stay. God, but was I ever up for it. Two wee...s on sunny beaches that would be wall to wall with gorgeous babes in bikinis. A true masturbator's paradise, except that I didn't go. Two days before we were scheduled to leave I slipped on a patch of ice, fell down two flights of stairs and ended up with my right leg broken in two places. The hotel and the airline tickets were prepaid and. Nobody there.The can: Help! I can’t get up!The tire: You’re late. Again. I’ve hired a new guy.“Fleeing the United States? What for?”“Mom killed the president and blew up the Oval Office.”“Why did you have to flee? You’re just kids.”“President Foley,” I said. As if that explained it. It did.“Bill is in now,” said the Master Chief.“We know, he’s rescinded the warrants.”“Let me make another call,” he said.He did.“Master Chief Anderson, put me through to the Ambassador.”Ooo, the big guns. Chief. More

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