I’ve never really been sexually attracted to her until she caught me stealing a pair of her panties. 

Me: Wow, straight from dance practice, hu...? 
Jess: Yeah, life is so chaotic these days. Where’s grandma at? 
Me: She decided to go camping with her friends all weekend.
Jess: Haha! I love grandma. So, I’m totally going to hop in her shower and I’ll come downstairs once I’m done. Wanna order a pizza?Me: Dude, already ordered! 

Jess went in grandma’s bedroom and I heard the shower come on a few. You're the boy that had so much trouble speaking. Well, it looks like they've managed to fix you up just fine. Let's take care of the first order of business, shall we? Klingman, in all the excitement, we seem to have forgotten to have you give us a verbal statement of your willingness to be a member of the Confederacy defense forces. Embarrassing, our omission, but no permanent harm done if you'll just give me your consent now." Yes sir. It is my intention and desire to volunteer. What do I. More

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