Trying to be cool and adult, Billy says, ‘Hi mizzezz Sitler.’ ‘Hello William. What can I do for you today? Some Likumaid, perhaps?’ ‘Uh. Not...right now, thank you very much mizzezz Sittler, we just will have a book of matches please.’ ‘Why Mark Hunter, what in the world would you need matches for? What devilment are you two up to?’ ‘Well, ma’am, we uh, uh, er. ‘Weneedemfora BoyScout project!’ ‘Yeah’, Billy says emphatically, ‘ that’s right, Scouts!’ ‘Well then I think you boys need to have. You are comfortable and I like wearing you. Not as much as your sister g-string, but I still like and enjoy you. Dear hipsters- Thank you for allowing me to wear low-cut jeans. I like your style, we should hang out more often. I am sorry that I like blue cheese so much and now you are slowly getting tighter. In fact, not just blue cheese but all food. (That's another open letter) That goes to all my underwear actually, I am sorry that some of you are slowly getting tighter, but I don't want to. More

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