Nothing left to bolster my spirits but sheer will alone. I have the undesirable ability to shut down emotions. I try not to flip that switch, because...it can’t be turned back on. I will take so much punishment before I do it, because if there’s any chance, any tiny .000001% of a chance that it will get better, I want to hang on. I’m tenacious. I don’t know how to give up. I refuse to believe I can’t fix things no matter how bad they get. But I’m learning that I can’t fix people. I can’t make. I took the phone as Char handed it to me, Amy said happy early birthday daddy! I said not till next week baby as you know. She said yes and Char was her present to me. I would not see Amy this weekend, but that they had a plan, just follow Char's lead. I didn't have anything pressing the Bengals were on the road so I went with it.I showered put on athletic shorts and a t-shirt good running shoes Char told me I'd need clothes for dinner too it would be a long night, and we were leaving. More

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