"God, I need rubber gloves like paramedics wear to go into his room," I said.She put her hands on her hips and said, "Quit whining. If you would like ...o spend the next six months watching TV instead of going out with your friends..." All right." Like, I wasn't whining. So I went up to get the twerp's sheets; little creep. He should have brought them down himself but he had stayed over at his friend's house instead of coming home. I tore off his sheets and the corner of a book popped out from. Once upstairs, I pushed the panic button. My Blackberry began to play ‘Need You Tonight,’ the ringtone I had specifically assigned to her panic button. Nothing had gone awry. ‘So?’ she asked. ‘Everything in working order,’ I said, handing it to her ‘but it’s a good thing that its got an on-off switch—you’re probably not going to want to have it on when you’re just out walking around. Apparently, my lovely,’ I added, holding her close to me, ‘you have an uncanny ability to generate sexual. More

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