Playing the part, without the intentions of actually becoming what I needed to be, should have been, was only self-abuse. That is why, I perceived the...young woman in Janice's mirror, to be mocking me.It's a difficult decision to make, to change one's life so entirely. For many an even harder decision than mine was.I could, of course, question my mother's and Janice's influence on me. That I had been indoctrinated, into believing, that I would be better off female than male.Still, a lot of how. Whenever I would fall while playing, my body would get dirty with lots of mud.I still played and mud went inside my shorts and hair and I was completely covered with mud, I still played until it started raining heavily. As it was raining I ran to my home and when I reached home, my uncle and grandparents were not there, only my aunt was watching tv. As she saw me, she was shocked as I was very neat and tidy in the house but I had made myself very dirty that day, my whole body including hair was. More

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