I'd have lain down on a bed of hot coals if he'd wanted me to, and submitting to him sexually would have been an unspeakable joy, letting him do whate...er he wanted to me, but at the same time I was afraid he'd be shocked and repelled, and in any case one day he'd grow up and leave me.But playing rugby gave him a beautifully muscular body, and wonderful legs like tree trunks, and sometimes I'd get wet just looking at him When he started to go out with girls, I was overwhelmed with jealousy,. ’ Great. It was a blessing and a curse. The relationship would fall apart within days if I kept thinking about how bad it was that it was so good. ‘What’s wrong?’ ‘Nothing,’ I lied. ‘I can feel it. Your body tensed up in a something’s-wrong way.’ ‘You can’t possibly tell that just from holding me.’ But I knew he could. So I told him about my conversation with Sandy and my fears. ‘It’s a triumph of hope over reason. I’ve never been seriously hurt by someone I trust. If it happens, I won’t be a. More

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