As the evening wore on people came and went until eventually it was myself, T and my boyfriend left. T had had too much to drink to drive so she said ...he would spend the night. My boyfriend was tired so went to bed leaving me n T alone in the living room. Ever since the discussion earlier and the evening I could sense the sexual tension between us. As we sat on the sofa talking in hushed voices so as not to wake my boyfriend who was only a few feet away in the next room, I could see T looking. Ich habe mein Leben veraendert. Heute ist es mir unerklaerlich, wie ich damals den Mut dafuer habe aufbringen koennen. Meine Therapeutin sagte mal, mein innerer Schmerz waere zu jener Zeit so gross gewesen, dass ich dadurch die Angst vor diesem zu erwartenden koerperlichen Schmerz nicht mehr als beaengstigend empfunden haette. Mag schon sein.Meine "Selbstbehandlung" ging uebrigens fast schief. Aber, waere sie schief gegangen, waere sie eigentlich auch gut verlaufen. Mir ist erzaehlt worden,. More

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