This was also when I first learned to retreat, allowing my alter ego, "Strong Kenny", to emerge and exist in my stead. When I say "Myself", I mean the...scared little boy I thought of as "Good Kenny". The boy I valued, and wanted to protect.I was "Good Kenny", and Dr. Fellows said I was very adept at erecting amnestic barriers between myself and "Strong Kenny". I was able to completely wall him off from my awareness, and to also wall him off from getting to me. I always had thought of this as me. ’I turned around, and looked into his eyes, on my back, looking up at this superior, stronger, beautiful and handsome muslim man, a god, I looked with admiration, love and a realisation that this was my purpose, I was surrendering to him, this was it, this was the moment. I was truly his. He leant forward, his face just above mine. He removed the muzzle, I could finally breath, ‘thank you master’.‘Open your mouth for me boy’, I did as he asked, he dropped huge droplets of his spit into my. More

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