Heturned his head and greeted one of his friends at the back of the bus.Tammy asked again, "Why were you staring at my legs?" I'm sorry, Tammy. I was ...hinking about something, and I wasn't payingattention."At that time, Jason, one of the boys at the back of the bus yelled that"James is a crotch watcher!" Whatever that meant, I wasn't too sure buteveryone else on the bus picked up on it and it kept saying it over andover again. Poor Tammy was embarrassed, and I felt terrible forembarrassing her. " Why doI have to be like this? Why can not I be like all the other boys? Lifeis so much easier for them! The place and time I was born did not offerany acceptance for trans people. And the hormone therapy was out of thequestion. I think it is still highly problematic in Russia, but it wassimply impossible at that time. Therefore I was trapped in my body andwas afraid to even talk to anyone about it. I thought I was sick andtried to "cure" myself with willpower. Once I took a knife in my. More

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