“Okay. Let’s start with the story arc. I think you could begin with something more dramatic that draws the reader into the story more rapidly. It�...�s the third page before we have a clue that they are boarding a spaceship. Lead with it. Even a simple a sentence of thought from the main character that said, ‘I took one last look at the earth before I boarded for my journey to the stars.’ Something that immediately sets the scene. Then you can deal with the weight of his baggage, the nods to people. ”Courtney’s heart was in her throat. “Michael, no ... please.” She begged. “I will do anything you want.” Her voice cracked as she looked at him pleadingly. “Please, just leave Dylan out of this.”Michael chuckled at her as he stepped closer to her. He reached out and touched her cheek gently. She winced under his touch as he caressed her face. “Oh, Courtney.” He said sarcastically. “Isn’t that just like you? Wanting to save everyone...” He reached behind her head, grabbing a fistful of hair,. More

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