" "Oh, that's clever of you, there'll be lots of people who'll want to attend, everybody liked your mum. Can I help you with anything?" Like many youn... people I'd encountered in my life, they believed the internet was for the sole use of the under 30's. They always seem shocked when someone older could unravel its mystery. However, she is so charming that I instantly forgive her the implication. "Um, thank you. Maybe?" I reply. I had got used to doing everything for myself since my wife had. I hear you aren’t willing to pee in the outhouse like a true Victorian. Would you like to tell me why that is?” “I can’t go in front of people sir. I just can’t. The thought of them looking me while I pee, I just can’t do it.” “That’s a shame as there are plenty of people clamouring for a job like yours. I’m sure they’d be only too willing to go through with it and more besides.” “I know sir and I’m sorry. Look can I please use your bathroom, I’m dying for a pee.” “Well Melanie, it’s time for. More

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