In Japan, as I’m sure you’ve heard, discretion is paramount. I hoped, but tried very hard not to assume. Another teacher was fired for coming on t... a woman. Even though she was single and 35, the next day her mother called the school to complain. The teacher was shit canned. The woman was reassigned to me and I made damn sure I never even made eye contact with her. I found Nao’s condo. By the time I got there I realized that an invite for drinks hardly meant that Nao wanted to dick me. So I. It's a cruel trick of nature that we're at our most sexually active when we're least likely to get laid. All those hormones, all that acne, all that boundless, frustrated energy has to be diverted somewhere. In 1992, I was stuck. I was too shy to talk to girls, I didn't have the guts to steal Playboys, and broadband internet was five years away. And so, like any adolescent boy, I improvised: cushions, mattresses, handkerchiefs, hand lotion... but the best thing was the 1952 Soviet-era vacuum. More

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