Just when did I stop thinking about her as Elisa?Once again I was in her room, with my work face on and walls raised. That was the only way I could be...there and stay sane. I told her - her, not Elisa - about Oona, about how she was growing and what she was doing. I forced myself to touch her hand, since it didn’t really feel like touching another human anymore. It hadn’t felt like that for some time. Still, I squeezed it gently for a moment before pulling my hand away and looking at her.. After a while, Jennifer came in, hugged me and took Jill's place. Jill called Conner, telling him what had happened and that we would be gone for a few days. I was numb to everything around me. I, for the moment, had no interest in my project, or food, or sex. Either Jennifer or Jill was always with me, arranging to touch me in some manner. This distracted me, to a small extent, from the crushing sense of loss. Other than a distant aunt, who I had only met a few times, I had no family. . More

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