The canal we had heard about from the government would lead us to The Lakes and from there to Jyväskylä in time for the Thousand Lakes Rally ... Fin...and's biggest WRC race. We sailed to the dock at Hagnäskajen 17, 00530 Helsingfors, Finland, asked permission and tied up. Then I started asking about the entrance to the canal to Jyväskylä."You're not from here," said the fella in the police uniform. He had wandered down to look at our boat."No, but Wendy is." I pointed at the beauty of the world.. “Look lad, on footplate Driver’s in charge and I’m Driver reet?” Ted explained, “And I fancies ramming me meat up thee ass, not that I’m queer nor nothing, just that wanking meks thee blind and I’d rather spend cash on beer than on’t ‘ores.“I dunno Ted,” Tommy says, “I ent ad a wench let alone be buggered.”“You refusing an order from thee driver?” Ted asks, “Sacking offence is that.”“Now hang on!” Tommy protested, “Buggery’s bloody illegal!”“I’ll tell they as thee let water down and never. More

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