" "And what's that?" "I'll buy you a vibrator." Rebecca laughed and hit his arm. "I don't need a vibrator." Jason laughed with her. "I'll give you...anything you need." "Will you do anything I need to have done?" "With pleasure," Jason said, "but I'm afraid my mom is going to be home." "Shit, I am going to need a vibrator." "No, but listen. Your favorite cookies are oatmeal chocolate chip." "What? I like ginger snaps." "Look, I love my mom, but she's nosy. She's going to try to get. Such exuberant behavior is normally reserved for the return of the McRib but this felt different.There were even protesters carrying "Masturbation is a Victimless Crime" placards. Hell, I didn't know it was a crime of any kind. If so, I'm one lesbian dream away from a lethal injection. Opening the door, there stood a familiar face. "Frank, what the fuck is going on?" I could barely hear myself think above the cacophony outside. Chants of, "play Freebird" was deafening. I'm a Southern girl. More

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