As each orgasm passes, I lose the chance to do my hair properly. . Sometimes, I devise an excuse about traffic and just plan on being late altogether....The process is very time-sensitive—I have exactly thirteen seconds after an orgasm to get up and shake it off before I get horny again. Thirteen seconds goes by pretty fast, so it’s a pretty demanding act, in terms of will. If procrasturbating were an Olympic sport, I’d be a fucking gold medalist. But like I said, I don’t need help—I’ve designed. I handed Lizzy the phone. There was no way she would let me talk until she said her piece. ‘Mark made them let you go,’ Lizzy was talking a mile a minute, ‘they said we would go to prison forever if he didn’t stop his letters. They don’t like him much, but they did what he said. Where are you?’ Lizzy took a breath, ‘St. Louis? Aren’t you coming home? The lady said you were coming home.’ More breathing. I was trying not to laugh at the conversation. Lizzy was so happy ‘We have to go to pick her. More

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