I do not expect you to end your relationship with him and I am okay if you still want to see him occasionally after we normalize our marriage whatever...the hell ‘normal’ means.” “Uh, will you want to watch us together because I don’t know how he…” “I don’t think so Audrey, that might be too, err, dicey. Maybe it would be enough if you told me all about it afterwards. At this point, I don’t know what or how you and I will evolve sexually but let’s let’s work on the love for now and see where. Come into the living room and sit with me. I'llclear the dishes later."We sat late into the night. I snuggled up to Clara and we talked. Thiswas the kind of talk I should have had with my mother. When I went tobed I lay awake for a long while. I knew Clara prayed every night andmorning and I tried to pray but all I could feel was the vast emptinessabove me. The chill of the night and the dark came upon me and huddledunder the blankets I escaped into sleep.Phil was still there on Thursday and. More

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