I guess I'm a sick bastard, but to keep hold of some vestige of my married life I went through the dirty laundry and got as many pairs of Belinda's un...erwear as I could find and put them in zip loc bags. I was never going to have sex again, not with a live girl, but at least I could touch once again my wife's most intimate secretions; she who had been the love of my life for some 25 years.What does "bad to worse" mean? Losing my parents was awful; my father unexpectedly first, then half a dozen. So, I gave up the new man and Bill and I resolved to stay together, however, I denied Bill any sort of sexual activity at least with me. After much consideration and conversation, it was decided that we would continue in an “open” marriage. That is, we could each find sexual partners outside the marriage without jealousy or bad feelings. The one thing I was certain of, is that I had no interest in sex with Bill again and as a middle aged woman, I needed it a lot. We both did what we could to. More

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