* * *A few weeks before my encounter with Thomas, i completed the emotionallydifficult process of letting go of my few remaining items of boyclothing,...the last objects that still connected me to my former self. ididn't have much left, jeans, a few tees, and a pair of running shoesthat weren't pink. Even though i hadn't worn any of those things inmonths, i coveted them like treasures. Maybe i thought of the garments assome kind of lifeline to my lost masculinity. With jeans and a tee in. She continued, ‘This was nice. We should do it again some time.’ She got up quickly and picked up her purse and began to walk away from the table. He was startled at how quickly she was leaving. ‘Wait, wait….please…..Let me pay and walk out with you….Wait please.’ Without turning around, she waved her hand and said, ‘Its okay. I understand. I’ll call you later.’ He stammered, ‘Wait…Suzy….wait.’ He waned to follow her out the door, but he hadn’t paid the bill yet. ‘FUCK. FUCK….I knew I should. More

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