The young woman’s cat, Burt, jumps into her lap.She asks the fairy godmother, “Can you turn Burt into a handsome young prince?”POOF! Suddenly, B...rt is a handsome young prince.The handsome young prince leans down to the young woman and whispers softly in her ear, “Don’t you wish you hadn’t had me neutered?”A man buys a budgie. It keeps repeating “I’m a Glasgow Budgie and I’m as hard as nails”After a week the man gets so fed up he buys a kestrel.He put’s it in the cage beside the budgie and. I’m overcome with the raw energy between us. Never been more ready and willing to accept what he has to offer, despite the risqué circumstances. Barely ten minutes earlier we’d been holding hands downstairs, enjoying the company of our friends, laughter gradually turning raucous as the alcohol flowed. Now I’m struggling to keep quiet out of necessity, low mewls spilling into the dim room past a hastily bitten lip. I want to cry out in ecstasy, to scream the fucking place down. Instead, my hands. More

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