Who should it have been? Answering with the full truth was not an option. I wouldnt allow myself to ruin his closeness with honesty. This was friendly...conversation, and I was about to make it personal. He should have been my first. First and only. I settled on the response of, someone I love. Was any time? The tone in his voice was close to concern. Was any time with someone I loved? No. I wouldnt even say any time was with someone I really cared about, to be honest. You never really seemed. I bought a cheap little cot thing and masses of nappies were stored in what used to be an ensuite bathroom. Even that blank unloved life with Denise would have been better than a life with me where I loved her for all the wrong reasons. The day we moved in was the day that little Annas life changed properly. She cried for her mommy as though her mommy had been the Princess Diana, and as I flung her into her cot she wailed and screamed. Life went on. I spanked her occasiaonally, I carried on. More

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