You look good up close. You’ve unbuttoned your blouse just enough. Oh god you know you look good. That’s the worst part. You can tell. You’re co...fident. You don’t need anything.“I love coming here. So many great sources. So well organized.” What the hell was that. Nerdiest comeback ever. I am so fucking this up.It’s hot in here. “It is a little warm up here on the ninth floor though,” I say, because I have nothing else to say.You smile. Fuuuuuck. The smile. You’re laughing at me but your smile. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:1. The DNA all matches.2. There are no dental records.A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"The agent replies, "Just a minute." Thank you!" the blonde says, and hangs up.Two. More

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