Placing my purse on the bar's counter top I slide up onto thestool and use what I hope is a sultry sounding feminine voice to order aCosmopolitan. Th... bartender smiles and winks at me. Obviously he takesme to be a hooker on the prowl. I give him a coy smile back as he poursmy drink. Fumbling to open my purse I am made painfully aware of howdifficult my long talons make it to complete the most rudimentary of handtasks. With a shudder at the thought, I tell myself that I am sure to getbetter. ”Wife: “Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?”Maria: “Jor huzban did.”Wife, increasingly agitated: “Oh he did, did he?”Maria: “The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed.”Wife: really boiling now and through gritted teeth “And did my husband say that as well?”Maria: “No Señora...”The gardener did.”Wife: “So then, how much did you have in mind?”Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don’t really give a rat’s arse anymore. More

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