For the present--and, Gary hoped, from nowon--this one person would be Russ. By satisfying and pleasing Russ, Garycould find acceptance, an identity, ...ecurity, and, eventually, maybeeven a semblance of love.But there was another reason that Gary had allowed Russ to use him. Garyregarded himself as a loser. He was a nobody and a nothing. He was soworthless that he deserved to be punished, and, since he was infinitelyunworthy, he deserved endless punishment, the crueler the better.Through. The police had brought me to the hospital, where a nurse had taken swabs of my face and vagina and examined me thoroughly. I remember her saying that by some miracle my hymen was actually intact, but that there were definitely signs that I had been involved in sexual activities earlier. I did not know where the Fosters were at that moment, but somehow I knew I would be facing them again someday.My name is Rebecca O'Neill. Well, that is the name I have used since I was one, and after my mother. More

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