" He said, "No, just taking a shit".2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way... so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.The Stuttering CatA teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students."Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the. 'God! I am beautiful - maybe I can lure Carlton into marrying me? He's loaded, and would be a good provider.' She sighed looking at Sam - what a beautiful white wedding gown! 'And instead of marrying me,(!) she is marrying an evil impostor in my former body - and doesn't even know it or would believe it if I told her.'The wedding seemed to take forever - she watched Greg waiting for his bride, and the major asshole had the effrontery to wink triumphantly at her. The church organ struck up. More

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