There is never a day where I don’t think of you, I’m so sorry about that night. It shouldn’t have been you who died, but me instead. It’s my g...d damn fault if today you’re six feet under.’ Tears were streaming down my face, the pain I felt in my chest was unbearable. ‘I should have listened to you, please forgive me, I love you both so much and I feel so lost without you here with me.’ I was now sobbing uncontrollably, I couldn’t talk anymore, and the lump in my throat was too big. I wanted to. "Get out," she said plainly. Her voice was soft and even, and I instantly measured it against the first time she had said them, the harsh way she'd spat the words. "Get out now, or stay," she finished. It was the choice. The same choice she gives me every time. I love her for it, that she would offer the option and never assume. I lowered my head in shame as I do every time now, no longer scared or bitter or afraid. Jealous? Definitely. Humiliated and embarrassed? Without a doubt. Excited?. More

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