"Okay, I'll give you that," he said. "You're not Santa Claus. Oh, actually you can help me with a little problem." "Oh, here it comes," I said. "It ne...er fails. Every time one of you humans enters the woods it's all about ass-fucking an elf." I pointed at him and wagged my finger. "You look at way too much porn on the internet, mister! It's like you people go on elf quests, or something! Don't you guys have human women to ass-fuck?" He looked confused and shocked and I immediately realized I'd. Black an' blue most a'the time, soldiers and sailors every night." Now you know I had to do that," Beall said pulling on his short boots. "Them Redcoats and Tories was that unhappy you wouldn't service none of 'em." I know. I was jus' funning you," Annie said as she reset the stove doors the way she wanted them. "This here was a good idea, but this shack don't have two boards that meet all the way up. In that wind the other night, I thought my bed was going to go flying and my poor bum would. More

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