"Nichola, Nichola dear come on wake up." I heard the voice calling myname, damn I must have fallen asleep I thought, we'll have to go throughit all ag...in.Nichola sweetheart, remember the doctor says you mustn't talk, now openyour eyes.My eye's opened and I saw Gwen, Mum and Amy looking at me, Mum squeezedmy arm and reminded me that I couldn't talk until my throat had healed abit more, I looked around and picked up my i-pad and typed 'sorry forfalling asleep, do we have to do it again?' Gwen. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.*P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.*P: Something. More

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