.. I mean food, James!”She must have seen the look on my face at the sound of the word eat. It was an evil look.I picked up my phone and called them... “Hey girls. It’s dinnertime. We’re going somewhere nice, dress accordingly!”I changed into a shirt and tie, with nice jeans. Delia changed into a very short black dress that plunged just low enough to give me a hard on and not a heart attack. As she was looking in the mirror, I brought out something I had wanted to give her. I draped it around her. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.Arrange for SPCA to collect cat. More

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