You get out of the car and walk in through the gymnasium door. There's a table by the door with two high school girls taking care of name tags. You gl...nce down at the quick update sheet and skim the names on the list. Your eye lingers on the name Heather Cole, now Heather Hamill. So she married that asshole jock, Buck Hamill. You think to yourself. Too bad. Heather had been every guy's secret crush back in the day. You'd had to go to every football game when you were in marching band, but. Deirdre and I had had our fun, but now it was Diane's turn. Diane was a temperamental push mower whose blades I kept almost as sharp as my Aunt Diane's tongue. I had a particularly hard time getting Diane going that day, the complete opposite of my Aunt Diane, who was able to start abusing me almost the second I showed up. It was always hard to get Diane the mower started for the first time. For one thing, you had to yank the starter cord with one hand while the other held down the deadman. More

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