" He laughs.Laying me face down on my bed he tells me to get on my hands and knees. He leaves the room, and I oblige him. A few seconds later he enter... my room with a bottle of something in his hands. "What is that?" I nervously ask, a little worried. "You'll just have to trust me and be very still. I want this to be a pleasant experience for you." He opens the bottle and squirt a little of its contents into the palm of his hand. He walks behind me and out of my view. I hear him open my dresser. And of course, at the time, I had no earthly clue.The fact was I had been struggling somewhat with my own sexual identity since middle school, if not sooner. I was growing up in a time when gay bashing was a popular sport and AIDS was fairly new and considered the great homosexual plague and the gay flu. I knew I was different from most other people, but I lacked understanding. I suppressed my thoughts and needs for two reasons: One was that I wanted to be accepted by the people I went to. More

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