I'm sure Jake would think I'm even crazier if he knew how much I wanted, needed actually, to submit to a brutal and painful encounter.I go out the doo... and walk quickly to the side alley that leads to a parking area behind the store. The big bruiser lumbers behind me. There are some overflowing garbage cans in the dimly lit parking lot. The smell of rotting food competes with stale urine where bookstore customers have peed.I decide the filthy space between the garbage cans is a fitting place. ” I couldn’t. I loved him too much to give up. I sat behind him and hugged his body, placing a kiss on his muscular back. “You don’t deserve this,” he said. “I never should have let you convince me to do this. I hate myself. I hate that I get off from this shit.” By “this” he meant the hard-core fuck sessions with random women. “Jay, baby, we’ve been through this before. It’s not your fault—he had abused you.” My boyfriend carried a shameful secret with him, and he had never shared it with. More

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