I pulled out a bottle of Zinfandel and poured two healthy glasses."Connie I suspect we were both surprised to meet like we did tonight!" I said"Yeah, ...eff had said that it was all so discrete. First there was Coach Ochs sneaking out and then you are standing there!" Connie said"Yeah the Coach is there often. Apparently he quite gay!" I laughed as I thought about the large man and what he did back in those boothsWe both sipped our wine but I could see Connie glance at me."Tonight was my first. That fact is heartbreakingly true. He loves someone else and a future together is something that could never be achieved no matter how much effort is put forth. I fully grasp the reasoning to which I cannot have the man I want and I understand that he wishes to have someone else for his wife but I keep finding myself unable to let go, despite knowing full well that I need to lock his memory away for my sanity. I find myself refusing any advances of romance or love. Despising them, even. I have. More

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