The soundless noise a computer makes as it crashes is enough to break a writer’s heart. Hours and hours of work gone, lost into the motherboard from...hell. Hundreds of short stories, dozens of newspaper reports and three very, very important pieces of work. There was my trial script for Hollyoaks, the episode where Chloe and Matt were getting married and everything was going fine until DCI Dale drop-your-drawers comes in and arrests the groom. When I get the call from Phil Redmond, what am I. Of course, your chest including your nipples are fair game since boys' nipples aren't private parts. And, actually, I'm going to make your butt fair game too since girls have butts the same as boys so they shouldn't really be considered private. Also, last year you got to touch mine. So I'm gonna touch yours. I'm not going to make you show it to me naked - it's gonna remain clothed like it is now. And I'm not going to be sticking things in your butt. But I get to touch it on the outside,. More

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