On the morning of the funeral, Jill and I pampered mum. She hadn't loved the man, we knew that, but both she and Jill had been very fond of him so, le...ving her asleep, we crept out of bed and made her favourite breakfast of coffee and croissants. I ran down to the flower shop in the precinct and bought her a huge bouquet of mixed flowers and it brought tears to Jill's eyes when I presented her with one too."They're beautiful Tommy," she said softly. "But it's supposed to be your mum's. " I know only one of them actually kissed you, but I think a good grope is worth at least the same as a kiss, don't you?"We spent the next hour and a half drifting in and out of different wine bars, restaurants and takeaways. In each one I was groped, fondled and kissed by a handful of men, and I wished that I had to kiss two hundred, not one hundred. When Cat stopped us at one point and counted ninety-two hearts on my sleeve, I seriously considered pulling a few of them off surreptitiously and. More

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