Mommy tried to pry it out of me, but I didn’t tell her and I don’t know why. I just didn’t have the words, and you know how you get when you’...e sad or uncertain about something. But when I went to school, I started remembering about all I dreamt about and boy oh boy, Deedee, I had to stop in the bathroom twice during the day and use my HB! I HAD to!! Let me tell you about it. It was like I was having my marriage that day and it was someone named Johnny, who I loved. I don’t know anyone I. The reserved half usually wins for some reason. I spent my whole school career afraid of rejection. There, I said it, 'I'm afraid of rejection.' I need to get over this somehow. This fear of rejection has cost me dearly. Oh, I know there are other 18 year old virgins, I just never thought as myself as one of them.I don't know why I hadn't had any girlfriends in school. I just never fit in with any of the cliques at school, I was always a loner. Sure I had a few friends, but they were no help. More

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