Whack, Whack, Whack, Whack, Whack goes the paddle, and all I could do was cry. Whack, Whack, Whack, Whack, Whack, Whack, Whack, Whack, Whack, Whack go...s the paddle and it must have hit 50, cause it stopped, but only for a second, and then Smack, Smack, Smack, Smack, Smack, came the strap, and I bawled anew, but still the smacks came. Then, it too must have hit that magical number, and only about a second of rest before SWWWWISH CRACK!, SWWWWISH CRACK!, SWWWWISH CRACK!, goes the Switch and I. I'm also not a guy whose wife cheated on him. Ladies and gentlemen, I am uniquely qualified to tell you the things we're going to talk about tonight because no one knows better than I do about what goes on in an affair. You're all wondering why your sweetie cheated on you with that asshole. I am an expert on the subject." What makes you an expert?" asked a guy in the first row."Well sir," I smirked. "I'm an asshole." The entire group gasped. They all backed up just a bit. As if I was. More

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