Even before her birth, an enduring conflict of joy and pain was beginning to take shape in her life, almost as a trademark. My wife and I were both ov...rjoyed at this precious gift of God, and anguished at the appearance of our third child so close to our second. My own relationship with Bethany was cloudy from the start, as emotions ranging from irritation to guilt formed a veil between us. Even at her birth our emotional separation was physically manifested as a job conflict would separate us. Would she find it funny if she were here to watch me put on a bra? Would she try to attack me as I had her?Setting aside my erotic daydreams I slipped on a garter belt and carefully rolled up a pair of tan nylons and fastened them before slipping on a white full slip. I slid the dress gently over my head and carefully inspected myself in the mirror just as Sue had taught me to do, I didn't want to be embarrassed by having my slip show beneath the hem of my dress. I slid on the jacket and. More

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