At any time, I could go to my journal and refresh those old memories. They were so precious to me. I did not ever want to forget those treasured exper...ences.How would the scenario be different, if I had been the one who had died? Would I have wanted Sandy to love another? That is something that I really had to struggle with. Of course, I would want her to be happy. But would I want her to make love to another man? The selfish part of me wanted to be loved and remembered. If I were dying of a. " I don't have time to visit you in the hospital Abigail. I have small c***dren I must keep alive. I can't be worrying about you dying while running alone on some deserted road."Now the image of myself and Tasha running together entered my head. Again, I wondered what that was about, except maybe it was me telling myself to freaking go be an adult and talk to her. "Done. Bye Jan. I'll talk to you tomorrow." I'm just trying to help ya Abs. You asked!" Bye! Love you." Love you too. Bye...sleep. More

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