I didn’t know back then how often I was going to hear it. And how I would learn to rejoice when I would hear it. I was made to walk between them a...d guided. Then, we seemed to have arrived where they wanted to go. “I’m going to take off your blindfold. The light will hurt you at first. We’re in a bathroom, we’re going to untie you and you can take a shower and we will get you ready. No funny stuff. There are two of us, and only you; the door is looked and you don’t know where the key is.. Were not supposed to be attracted to a male body, maleness is supposed to be an ugly and silly thing that we tolerate for its usefulness. Knowing that I didnt feel this way, and being encouraged to think I was alone in it, did wonders to isolate me from my own sex for fear of its judgment, and to make even just experiencing lust seem so taboo that it was made all the stronger. So, with a boiling sex drive I wasnt supposed to have, and very specific tastes that seemed unmeetable, I was almost. More

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