Look, as long as you buy the drinks I'll tell you, okay? But it has to be strictly off the record. I don't want any attribution, no name, nothing that...might tell people who I am.It was right at the beginning of Linebacker I, May of '72. I was flying F-4s out of Ubon, Thailand at the time. I was doing mostly escort missions, but hadn't had much luck in the MiG department, some fights, a probable back in '67 during Rolling Thunder, but no confirmed kills.That day my backseater Jeff and I--that. . my soul blackened by its recent brush with death, I had no room for forgiveness or kind words. Somehow I just wanted to communicate the pain I was feeling.I looked at the letter. I wished Jessica had burned it. It was a eulogy for Matt O'Connell and for the love we once shared. It seemed so long ago.Suddenly I felt tired. It was as if the weariness in my bones from all those months and years of turmoil and death had come home to roost. I sat heavily on Jessica's bed and just stared at the. More

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