) I remember thinking... "Has he has forgotten?" Nothing was said, it was like nothing had happened.Later we sat at dinner acting like this huge thing... Damocles Sword, was not hanging over us... I felt like I was gonna laugh or cry or both. It was just so odd. As we were clearing the table Robert asked, "So do you want to talk now?" "OK" and told him to go sit in the living room... My nerves were shot, my hands were shaking and he was smiling, acting so glib? I walked out to the living room,. I love the contrast between these two men I know so well, love that they know and use this, husband and friend. Patrick is the more forceful, his taste an explosion of sensual familiarity to my senses. I have breathed him in, have felt him at my side since childhood and he is like the well loved blanket you never quite can give up. I feel the smile against my lips as he moves back to survey his handiwork. It makes me grin. I know how I look, luxuriating here on the black bedspread which shows. More

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