”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Le... me out!”The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters, “Too late, mate, the paperwork’s already done.”I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely. I took care of the ghost first, then slipped across the bridge carefully, avoiding the spears. I wished I could avoid listening to Cicero. “Ouch! Pointy, pointy! My home is well defended. I always have been a stickler for details. Get it? Stick ler?” He cackled madly. “Oh, I slay me.”Not if I can do it first, I thought. I noticed as I was crossing the bridge several oil pots. That looked like the perfect trap for someone below, so I sent all four of them falling before descending the spiral. More

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