Is this what I look like now? I thought to myself as I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. My light brown hair sat limply on my head, bare...y touching my shoulders. What once was a well-groomed goatee was now unkempt and bushy. I even saw a few gray hairs in my goatee/wimpy beard too. I look like I’m ten years older than I actually am. The harsh light in the bathroom only made the lines and wrinkles on my face look worse. I need a haircut and a trim. I wanted to look like a decent. Instead, I saw her as the somewhat remote director of my upbringing. Looking back, I can see that the terrible time I caused for her during late pregnancy contributed to her border-line mental illness, her obsession regarding me and her fears that she had birthed a monster, her pathological drive to keep me on the path of good.If she could have turned me into a priest or monk, she would have been overjoyed with that outcome for me, her first and only child, her Son.My Father was a weak willed. More

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