Itdidn't matter how conscious I was of it, how much I worked torationalize it away. It made me feel self-conscious of my looks, of mynondescript featu...es, my sagging tits and my pear-shaped figure. Bodyfascism had gone to work on my soul.Of course the moral decision would be to reject the judgment of others.Accept myself for what I was, sags, hips, unsightly hair, cellulite andall. But I was a moral coward at heart. "The Medallion is a second chance," I'd once told Simone. "I feel noguilt in. I was glad I had them on that day because it was hiding the bulge behind my zipper. I had just come out of the restroom thinking if I pissed it would go down. It only made it harder and I know she was waiting for me right outside the door. The thought of her seeing my boner put me in a panic. Then I remembered a joke I didn't get at the time but now it made sense, if cold water will make it shrink then I knew what I needed to do. Soon i was splashing cold water into my underwear and all it was. More

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